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Staggering Stories Podcast #372: Glorious Purpose
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Jul 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who: Season 24 (1987) and review the 2021 Disney+ series Loki (season one), find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:32 — Welcome! 02:51 – News: 03:00 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #371: Bubble Wrap Emu of Death
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jul 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Ark in Space and the 2021 Netflix series Sweet Tooth, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:09 — Welcome! 01:53 – News: 02:00 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #370: The Solos of Hell
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Jun 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Big Finish Doctor Who story Out of Time 2: The Gates of Hell and the 2021 Amazon series Solos, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #369: Greatest Show in the Car Park
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Jun 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy and the 2021 series The Nevers, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:45 – News: 01:54 — MGM: Swallowed by […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #368: Back in the Studio
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 30 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor Adventures – Ravagers and the 2021 film The Mitchells vs. the Machines, discuss the Ninth Doctor’s best TV moments, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #367: Furthering Lucie Bleedin’ Miller
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Further Adventures of Lucie Miller and the 2020 film Palm Springs, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Kirk Revolts Federation Mass Protest

A weekend of Federation-wide anti-Kirk demonstrations has brought millions of people out onto the streets in protest of Starfleet Captain James T. Kirk's bizarre and disturbing behaviour.

Most protests were on Saturday, but up to 750,000 people took part in a final event in San Francisco on Sunday, after police closed off the city the day before to protect the public from images of the insane Kirk streaking through the streets.

Between sixteen and twenty million people are thought to have marched on up to 60 worlds over the weekend - the largest demonstrations of their kind since the reviled novelist Captain Jonathan Archer released a string of novels after a time travelling romp to Belmarsh Prison, England, Earth and the year 2002.

Friends of Kirk put his recent mental state down to the shock he suffered when he found his best friend Spock floating face down in the sewage pool of the USS Enterprise. Persistent allegations that Kirk murdered his friend after the Vulcan objected to the Captain's proposed debut album - 'Enterprise in the Sky with Diamonds'. Others have speculated that Spock was planning a rival singing career but, illogical as that may be, no doubt it would not have included scenes of him poll dancing and spinning tassells from his rolls of fat, unlike Kirk's.

Whatever the cause, Kirk's recent parading of his uncorseted blubber on key Federation worlds and his ravishing of toothless old ladies has rocked the Federation government. His outspoken calls to be given constant air-time on all broadcast media and the repealing of the ban on the showing of psychologically damaging content have caused panic on all civilised worlds.

When cornered, Kirk's only reply to our questions was to 'sing' his latest pop cover outrage: "I wish I could - fly - but I - can't."

Federation security forces are warning to be vigilant against a string of Kirk doubles that are roaming the galaxy, possibly on Kirk's orders to help confuse the situation or simply to protect the real Kirk. Authorities are known to be developing a new technobabble device of the week to counter this threat of Kirk and his legion of mass distraction.