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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #372: Glorious Purpose
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Jul 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who: Season 24 (1987) and review the 2021 Disney+ series Loki (season one), find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:32 — Welcome! 02:51 – News: 03:00 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #371: Bubble Wrap Emu of Death
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jul 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Ark in Space and the 2021 Netflix series Sweet Tooth, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:09 — Welcome! 01:53 – News: 02:00 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #370: The Solos of Hell
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Jun 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Big Finish Doctor Who story Out of Time 2: The Gates of Hell and the 2021 Amazon series Solos, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #369: Greatest Show in the Car Park
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Jun 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy and the 2021 series The Nevers, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:45 – News: 01:54 — MGM: Swallowed by […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #368: Back in the Studio
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 30 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor Adventures – Ravagers and the 2021 film The Mitchells vs. the Machines, discuss the Ninth Doctor’s best TV moments, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #367: Furthering Lucie Bleedin’ Miller
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Further Adventures of Lucie Miller and the 2020 film Palm Springs, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Archer Banged Up Jeffrey and Jonathan Archer

Time travelling Starfleet moralist, Captain Jonathan Archer, has been duped by disgraced former Tory, 'Lord' Jeffrey Archer, into taking his place in prison.

Captain Archer's part in the Temporal War now looks at an end after a fateful meeting between himself and possible ancestor Jeffrey Archer. The British novelist, Tory activist and convicted purgurist somehow convinced the gullible Starfleet Captain into believing his two cell mates were enemy agents in the time war.

STUNNED
Captain Archer further compounded his error by agreeing to stun the prison guards long enough to swap his uniform for liar Jeffrey Archer's prison garb. Eye witness reports tell of how Captain Archer was then whacked over the side of the head with a fire extinguisher and dumped in Jeffrey's cell.

MUPPET
A rude awakening was in store for Captain Archer, trapped with two ex-kids tv presenters from Rainbow, George and Zippy. The puppet duo were thrown in the slammer earlier this year for the brutal murder of co-star talking bear Bungle, whose pelt they sold to big name fan of the kids tv series Roy Skelton. Partly in reference to the fact that they only have one arm, the twosome, one a pink hippo and the other an orange creature who had a zip sown into his mouth for dubious air deprivation stimulation, are known around the Belmarsh high security prison as the One Armed Bandits.

BUGGERED
Other prisoners have exclusively told the News of the Universes how for the rest of that afternoon all they could hear were echoing cries from Archer's cell, "Ow, Jeffrey!", being repeated over and over. Jonathan Archer is understood not to have left his prison cell since. His two cell mates venture out only long enough to smuggle back food for the three of them. Captain Archer is known to have a history with several aliens, including a female Vulcan and a shape shifting alien of unknown gender. As a senior Starfleet officer Archer has also had extensive training on how to be captured and thrown into dank dungeons. It would appear that any similar knowledge on how to break out has alluded him this time.

FAKED
Various reports are coming in from across the timeline that suggest Jeffrey Archer has convinced the crew of the USS Enterprise (NX-01) that he is a Starfleet captain, perhaps even Jonathan Archer himself, and they are now running amok and dining at the best restaurants throughout time.