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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #412: Mr Eccleston Goes to IKEA
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Feb 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the 2001 Christopher Eccleston film ‘The Others’ and Big Finish boxset Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor Adventures – Hidden Depths, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #411: Slasher Sylvester
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2020 Sylvester McCoy film ‘The Owners’ and the 2022 Discworld film ‘The Amazing Maurice’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:33 — Welcome! 02:32- News: 02:38 — Wednesday: More […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #410: Great Balls of Crystal
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 08 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare discuss the Doctor Who Christmas and New Year specials, play a game, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2023, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2022, find some general news, and a […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #409: Festive Muppetry
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: Blood on Santa’s Claw (Big Finish) and the 1992 film The Muppet Christmas Carol, find some general news, play a game, pull some crackers and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #408: Bacon and Kroll Sandwich
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: The Power of Kroll and the 2022 Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 04:40- News: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #407: Victorian Mysteries
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Nov 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s The Paternoster Gang: Heritage 2 and the 2022 film Enola Holmes 2, play a Doctor Who game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:11 — Welcome! 01:52- News: […]

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Tony

Tony Gallichan is Mildly Perturbed by... His Friend's Next Door Neighbour But One


Sometimes, just sometimes I meet a person that will do something that will make my jaw drop. (I know, a lot of people include me in that category).

Take my friend's next door neighbour but one, a lady we shall call Bert.

You may have noticed, elsewhere on this site, my steaming colleague, Mr. Purcell's rant against the computer phobes. This is similar...except it's about the joys of cable television. I have cable television, (from the worst company in Britain, Telewest). So does my friend, (we shall call her Cecil). So does Bert.

Last Thursday, we lost all reception - there had been an outage somewhere. Along to Cecil's house comes Bert. I was already there...I tend to drop in for coffee every evening - ahh....living life to the full, lol. So, in comes Bert and she starts ranting about the television being off. Dilbert's Loud Howard has nothing on her. If she phones you can actually hear her talking down the street and through the window....she simply doesn't need a phone. You should try watching a football match (shudders and spits) with her......dear God....I simply cannot describe what its like...all ooohs and aaahs...all on a volume setting of eleven.

Cecil was talking to her son - lets call him Agnes. Right in the middle of it, Bert loudly starts talking right over the top of them. I sat there, watching this in slack jawed amazement.

Then it started...

"If the cable is off, can I still watch a video?"

"But I can still see BBC1, can't I?"

"My neighbour hasn't got cable...I'll go to him and see if its working." (seriously, she thought that as he didn't have cable it might be working for him!!!!!!)

Then the classic..

"I can still watch one sky programme and record another, can't I?"

 

Now, some of these might seem like fairly innocent questions. However, she has been asking them every week for the PAST FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Of course, Cecil also comes out with some howlers....

Recently has seen the sad death of Professor Kelly, the MOD scientist put under so much pressure from Blair's government that the poor man couldn't take it anymore. (or so it seems). Cecil's reaction to hearing the news was to wonder if they were talking about "Dickie Dexter", the man from Match Of The Day.

MOD you see...it confused her. And it turns out she actually meant Des Lynham.

 

You know, sometimes it gives me a headache thinking down to the level of my neighbours.....

 

Tony Gallichan admits he is an intellectual snob - but without the intellect bit...

 

Don't forget that you can discuss this, even tell us your own stories, in the Musings: The Comeback Forum!